He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
