so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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