Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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