Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
