ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
