So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
