i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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