you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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