just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think people are normalizing furries
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
