Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
