I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
