Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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