I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
this hospital has no fireball
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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