your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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