Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
well you can't waste a boner
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
