I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize