im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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