so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
