I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
