she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
