Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
