who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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