yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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