dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
