You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
