dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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