I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
