Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
