Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
