he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
