We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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