she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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