Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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