I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Mom said you looked used
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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