i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
