fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
