Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
