Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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