I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
