Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
