I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
