do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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