the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
