At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
