im gay
i know
yea but for you.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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