plz talk dirty to me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
