I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize