Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
