doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
