Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
