is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
