i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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