I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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