When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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