Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
