so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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