Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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