Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
