It's just like the Real World with babies
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
