Well douche your snatch and let's go!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
birth control should be required to get into college
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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