i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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