Ketchup is God's man juice
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
